


I'd Like to Leave, Please

by SamSamtheAwkwardTrashcan



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, I'll add more tags as this goes on, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Reader is basically me, Suicide Attempt, also this is my first fanfic, because i only have 3 chapters so far lol, but i'll make sure to put a lot of fluff later on, but i'm pretty happy with it so far, i'll try my best to make it at least decent, it's gonna start off slow, pretty much all of the characters are going to be in this, reader has an orange soul, so i thought i'd put it on here, so sorry if it's bad or anything, sorry about that, this is purely self-indulgent, yay!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-08-27 12:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8401138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamSamtheAwkwardTrashcan/pseuds/SamSamtheAwkwardTrashcan
Summary: You are alone. Everyone you care about has left you. Feeling at fault for all that has happened, you run. To where? Apparently to Mount Ebbot. In the underground, you find all sorts of friends, someone who loves you with all of their heart(or soul?), and the will to live(determination!).





	1. I don't want to be here anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo this is my first fanfiction guys! I don't know how often I'll update this but I'll try to do it as often as I can! Anyways, the reader will be referred to as Y/n throughout this so you can put your name into it if you want. A little warning though, this started off as a fanfiction for papyrus/me so reader is gonna be entirely like me. Since you most likely don't know me, you will figure out how I act throughout this story. So if you want to know how I am, just read this and you'll know. Anyways, I hope you like it!! (p.s. imma post all three of the chapters i have so far today because i'm too impatient lol)

“Kallie! I’m home!” 

I walked into my apartment I share with my best friend and look around. 

“Kallie?” 

I didn't hear any response or even any noise that would show there was someone else in there. I walked inside all of the way. 

“Are you here?” I sighed, “She’s usually here by now…” 

I walked into her room. 

“Hmm… she’s not in here…”

I looked to my left and saw a note on her nightstand next to her closet. I slowly went over to it and picked it up. 

“‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. I feel like nobody…’” I paused for a second and let out a shaky sigh, “‘... like nobody cares about me. Goodbye.’” 

I looked over at her closet. I slowly opened it up and then froze. 

Suddenly, it was hard to hear, hard to see, hard to do anything but stand there. 

She was in there. Dead. She had hung herself. 

I could almost feel the sight being burned into my memory. 

I fell to my knees feeling numb. I could feel tears falling down my face but not much else. 

I can vaguely remember my nails digging into the skin of my arms as I stared at her. 

“This is my fault……” I whispered. 

I could feel more tears fall down my face. I needed to get away. I couldn’t be there anymore. I couldn’t look at that anymore. 

I quickly got up, almost falling over in the process, and ran out of the apartment.

“It’s my fault, it’s my fault, oh gosh it’s my f-fault!” I yelled as I ran away, fresh tears collecting in my eyes. 

I didn’t know where I was going but I continued to run, not caring where I ended up.


	2. Falling into the underground

The ground hit hard against my feet as I ran as fast I could. My tears streaming fast down my face, drying almost instantly due to the wind surrounding me. 

I ran and ran, numb from the cold, bitter wind whipping around me. I reached a mountain; I didn’t stop to think whether or not to climb it, instead I kept on running. Up the mountain and toward a hole in the ground.

I stopped when I saw the hole; it was deep and dark, making me unable to see anything at the bottom of it. 

I stared into the hole and thought, slowly taking tiny steps toward the hole. Eventually, I stopped, but only to prepare myself for what I was about to do. 

I quickly jumped into the hole, into  
the darkness that held my certain death. 

The sound of the cold, harsh wind filled my ears, drowning out my screams as I fell faster and faster. 

Suddenly, my back hit the ground, a sharp pain overtook my body. Shocked and frozen, I tried to comprehend what just happened. Slowly, my vision began to darken, everything disappearing from my sight until all I could feel was a dull pain in my back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooook second chapter! I hoped you liked it! The next one is all I have currently and I don't know when I will be able to write the next chapter but it will come! I promise! Just please be patient with me, I'll try my best to at least start writing it soon. 
> 
> (again! i'm so sorry this is so short, there will be longer chapters though!)


	3. What is this peaceful place?

I opened my eyes. 

Above me, I could faintly see the ceiling of the cave; there was a hole in it that shown some light down at the ground around me. 

I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes a little. I looked around.

Below me, there were golden flowers-soft and bright- that broke my fall. 

Everything surrounding me and the pile of now-crushed flowers was plain and dull. 

Despite that, it was still a beautiful sight; the way the sun made the pretty, yellow flowers sparkle, how blue the barely visible sky looked above me. 

Everything was peaceful, quiet and relaxing. The distant sound of birds singing and the faint sound of wind blowing into the cave. The way the wind would sometimes carry a stray leaf into the air and up into the sky, where I could no longer see it. 

I almost believed that I had died. 

Until the sharp pain in my back came back, worse than when it had first happened. 

I sat there for a while until I felt I was able to stand with the least amount of pain possible. 

Very slowly, I got up. Placing my hands onto the soft flowers, stopping for just a bit to enjoy the feeling of the petals on my finger tips. 

As I got up, I could feel the ache in my back coming back. Ignoring it, I continued on. 

I looked ahead of me; there was a path. 

I took a step forward but then hesitated. I carefully bent down and picked up one of the soft, golden flowers that I had not landed on. 

I held it in my hands for a bit, looking at it closely, gently caressing the petals. I stuck it in my H/l , H/c hair, holding back part of my bangs. 

I gently ran my fingers along the wall as I walked, feeling the hard, gritty texture of the stone. 

As I approached the end of the walkway, I saw an opening in the wall. I walked up to it and looked inside, resting my hand on the wall. 

Inside, there was a yellow flower sticking up out of the ground. 

My eyes widened as I noticed the face on the flower. 

“...What the heck is going on?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so that's all I have for now but there will be more, I just need to write them. I hope you liked this though! 
> 
> (p.s. H/l means hair length and H/c means hair color, just in case you didn't already know :))


	4. Author's Note

Aaaahhh uhhh heyy um so yeah... i haven't made another chapter in a while(I ONLY PUT THREE UP IN ONE DAY GOSH I'M SORRY)... i don't know when i'll put another one up because i'm not that confident in my writing skills and also i am terribly lazy... also i never really feel like writing? except for once in a while... but that's rare... 

again, i'm so sorry! i thought i was going to be able to this regularly but i've just not been feeling like anything i would write would be good... 

hopefull i'll eventually put another chapter up but until then it'll just be these three chapters 

anyway, i hope everyone who is reading this has a good day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorryyy


	5. Author's note #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this isn't another chapter

urgh i'm so sorry guys, i haven't been trying as hard as i should....

tbh i completely forgot about this

i'm gonna try to write some more today but tbh i might also just try to start another story

things haven't been the best and i'm really not liking my writing recently 

i so want to be at least semi good at writing so i'm gonna try to write more so i can get better but i don't know if that's gonna happen

i won't turn this into some vent post because it would be a lot and i don't want you guys to have to go through that

just know that i'll try to write more for this

i know just saying that doesn't mean much because i said that last time and it's been a lot of months since i updated but that's all i can really do right now....

anyways, i hope you all have a good day

thank you to anyone who are maybe actually being patient with me, if you're out there i don't know why you are because there really is no reason to be patient with me but thank you anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorryyyyy
> 
> again....
> 
> i would say i'm trying my best but i know i'm not.... 
> 
> i'll uh try to write some more but i can't guarantee anything's gonna really get done
> 
>  
> 
> if you want to see things that i'm actually kinda good at and which i do often, you can check my tumblr, the url is just my username on here


	6. Another Author's note.... but it's happy!!

I'M WORKING ON IT GUYS 

 

I'M DOING IT

 

IT'S ACTUALLY TURNING OUT DECENT TOO

 

imma try to finish it right now because i don't know if i'll finish it if i wait 

 

it's actually being done though guys!! wow!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm pretty proud of myself right now


	7. Overwhelmed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finished it!!!

I stared at the yellow flower in the middle of the dark, dark room I was standing in front of, the same bright shade of yellow of the flowers I had landed on when I fell. 

 

I briefly remembered the flower I put in my hair before I came upon the room; is it going to be upset that I took one of its friends just to wear it as an accessory? I started to become anxious and tried to think of a way to avoid the flower. 

 

Maybe I should go back and try to climb back up the hole I fell into… Well, no, that would require you to be skilled in rock climbing or something like that… and I’m nowhere close to having that skill.

 

Maybe I could just sneak around the flower… I mean, nobody notices me anyway, and the room is pretty dark. Although, there is a light shining on the flower… 

 

I decided to risk sneaking past the flower, thinking it was much better than attempting to climb a nearly vertical wall. 

 

I slowly went into the room and put my back up against the wall, then, slowly still, started to scoot myself around the wall to get to the opening at the other side of the room away from the flower. 

 

Just as soon as I started moving, I lurched forward. It felt like something flew out of chest, roughly. It was painful, so painful, and my vision turned fuzzy and gray. I looked in front of me; there was a dull, orange heart, glowing softly and gently, floating in the air, the only color that I could see. 

 

“Howdy!” I heard as I looked at the glowing, orange heart in front of me. I looked away from the heart and at the flower in the center of the room. 

 

I stared at it for a while, confused, then started to try to move again. I found that all I could manage to do was move the heart around. I paused and stared at the heart again. 

 

“Hey buddy, where do you think you’re going? You just got here! It’s a little rude to leave without at least introducing yourself you know.” I snapped my head back toward the flower, it was looking at me and smiling. 

 

“o-oh, s-sorry….” I say quietly, looking away from the flower again. It starts laughing.

 

“Don’t worry about it! I’m Flowey by the way, Flowey the flower!” I slowly turn my head a little bit to look at it.

 

“I-I’m Y/N…” 

 

“Well, Y/N! You’re new to the Underground aren’tcha? I can tell just by looking at you! Golly, you sure do look lost, why don’t I show you how things work around here?” it talked in an overly sweet tone, strange for a flower, I’d expect bitter if anything. 

 

“See that heart? That is your soul, the very culmination of your being!” I look down at the heart with wide eyes.

 

“S-soul?” my voice shook a little as I said that. 

 

“Yep! It starts off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV. What’s LV stand for? Why LOVE of course!” I quickly looked back at it again, love? Well, I guess that would make sense, love tends to make people happier… no wonder my soul is so dull. 

 

“You want some LOVE don’t you?” My eyes widen, is it… offering love…? How is that possible? How would it even give it to me? 

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll share some with you!” it winks and a little white… thing floats in the sky then disappears. I get a little excited without meaning to, can I actually get some love? Will it make me happy? 

 

Soon after, 5 of those little white things appear above him, “Down here, LOVE is shared through… little white…’friendliness pellets’. Are you ready? Move around! Get as many as you can!” The “friendliness pellets" move toward my soul all at once.

 

I thought for a second then moved my soul toward them. When my soul touched one of the “friendliness pellets”, it hurt. No, it burned, it felt like someone poured scalding hot water all over my body at once. 

 

“You idiot.” It’s face morphed into a demon’s face out of my worst nightmares and it’s voice started fluctuating, giving me a chill up my spine. “In this world, it’s kill or BE killed. Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this!?” Suddenly, a whole circle of its “friendliness pellets” surrounded my soul.

 

“DIE.” it started laughing uncontrollably, maniacally. It sounded more like an evil villain, nothing like the overly sweet, “let me offer you some love” flower I had been talking to a minute before. 

 

I started to move my soul around to attempt to get away but eventually stopped completely. Why bother? I jumped down here to die anyway, why should I try to live? The “friendliness pellets” stop getting closer.

 

“…Why’d you stop moving?” it sounded very confused. 

 

I started shaking slightly, along with my soul which dimmed significantly, “…J-just kill me…” I was quiet, it didn’t seem like it would’ve been able to hear me but I could tell it did. 

 

It’s face changed back to normal, but it looked confused, “Uh…” it stayed still, seeming to think of what to do. 

 

I started to shake uncontrollably while it was trying to think; the longer my soul was out, the less safe I felt, I started to feel extremely anxious. 

 

On the other side of the room, a fireball all of a sudden came in and hit Flowey, knocking it to the ground. I started to shake even more.

 

A tall, goat-like being walked in front of me; they had white fur that looked unbelievably soft and sparkling brown eyes. I felt more safe around them but I was still shaking. 

 

“What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth… Ah, do not be afraid, my child, I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins.” their voice was very pleasant and calming, “My child, are you alright? You are shaking like a leaf…” 

 

I tried to point to my soul but instead moved it, “m-my s-soul….” I moved it around some more so they could understand. 

 

“Oh! Of course, my child.” My soul suddenly flung back into my chest, pushing me up against the wall. I gasped, my vision became clear and everything seemed more intense, I had already become used to my soul being out.

 

My vision suddenly cut out and I collapsed onto the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm actually pretty satisfied with how this turned out 
> 
> not bad for being written in an hour at like midnight


	8. Author's note #4

heyo again guyssss

so uh yeah, it's been, geez like 5 months since i posted the last chapter? sorry about that 

gosh there's too many author's notes in this story 

anyways, i wanted to say i might start trying to write another chapter again? maybe? i feel like i'm capable of it right now(of course it's only at like 10 at night when i ever actually feel like writing, how wonderful) 

i also wanted to say i'm feeling a lot better than the last time i updated, i'm not completely good but at least i'm not like crying ever other day anymore lol 

but! i might try writing another chapter right now, i'm not sure if i'll finish it but i'll try

aaaand i don't know when i'll update next because i'm gonna have a lot going on since i have senior things to do, figure out about college, actually figure out what exactly i want to do with my life? stuff like that 

soo, just wanted to update you guys, in case you wanted to know

i hope you guys have a good day!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns*
> 
> yooooo long time no see 
> 
> hope this suffices a little? maybe? possibly? 
> 
> if anybody even cares about this story?


	9. Oddly warm and inviting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in an unfamiliar house and decide to explore 
> 
> your bladder being the main motivation

I woke up.

 

I didn’t open my eyes but I knew I was awake. 

 

I repositioned myself in the bed I was in. Wait… bed? When did I get in a bed? 

 

It was a soft bed, and it was so warm. 

 

I didn’t want to get up. 

 

The pillows felt like literal marshmallows underneath my head, or clouds? Does anyone know if clouds are soft? I should look that up. 

 

I opened my eyes and turned to grab my phone. 

 

I froze. 

 

This isn’t my room.

 

Where am I? Where is this? 

 

How’d I get here?

 

….

 

My memories of the last day, days? hours? I’m not sure how long, came rushing back to me. 

 

How crazy can one day(a few hours??) even be? So much has happened. 

 

I remembered about Kallie. Gosh, am I even sure that actually happened? Everything seems like such a blur right now. 

 

I stared at my hands for a while just thinking, and trying not to cry. Just kind of feeling numb, not sure how to feel about everything. 

 

After a while, I sat up and hugged myself, digging my nails into my skin enough to leave marks. I looked around the room I was now in. 

 

There are wood floors in here, and a few toys next to the bed. Huh… this looks like a kid’s room… 

 

I look down at my feet and just sit there for a while, not wanting to get up. 

 

… 

 

Crud. 

 

I have to go to the bathroom. 

 

So I guess my choices now are either sit here and suffer(for multiple different reasons) or go to the bathroom.

 

… 

 

No, yeah I really need to go. 

 

I get up hesitantly and walk out the door. 

 

The door opens up into a hallway that is lit with a warm, yellow light, it is decorated with various different plants and flowers as well as a long, patterned rug on the ground.

 

I look down the hallway and see two doors and what seems to be a mirror at the very end of the hallway next to the last door. 

 

i quietly walk to the first door, running my hand on the wall, feeling the smooth yet bumpy texture of it, moving it once I get to a side table or a potted plant. I open it slightly, peaking inside. 

 

All of the lights are turned off, making it slightly difficult to see inside, however the light from outside helps so I am able to make out what kind of room it is. 

 

There seems to be a large bed, a desk that has some kind of journal open on it with a chair in front of it, and some more plants. Whoever lives here sure loves plants, i can guess that much. 

 

But, this isn’t the bathroom. 

 

And I still very much need to go, so I push on. 

 

I slowly close the door again and step away, going back down the hallway to the next door. 

 

I grab the handle and try to open it, but find it locked. I jiggle it a few times just in case. 

 

I sigh, “Guess that’s not the bathroom either then, unless this person keeps their bathroom locked for some reason…” I mumble to myself. 

 

I decide to try looking for the key on top of the door, since that’s been where many of the keys in my house have been. 

 

I get on my tiptoes and try to run my hand across the top ledge of the door, but the door is too tall for me to reach. Curse these small legs, making me unable to reach anything higher than a low-hanging cabinet. 

 

Although, even if I had long legs I don’t think I’d be able to reach it, these doors seem unusually large. 

 

I give up on ever being able to reach up there and cross my arms. I look to my side and see the mirror I saw earlier. 

 

Might as well see how bad I look.

 

I must look horrible right now, after all I’ve went through. But even if I hadn’t gone through all of this, I probably would still think I look bad.. 

 

I hesitantly make my way over to the mirror, swinging my arms lazily. 

 

I close my eyes as I get up to the mirror and sigh. 

 

I slowly open one eye and look at myself. 

 

My hair is messy, sticking up all over the place and I have a few scratches on my face as well as some dirt. 

 

Dang, I look pretty horrible. 

 

I run my fingers through my hair, trying to fix it at least a little, but it doesn’t work at all. 

 

I switch to touching my face and wiping off the dirt so I don’t feel as dirty. I gently touch one of the scratches and flinch from the pain. I really need some bandages or something, maybe if I can ever find a bathroom there’ll be some in there. 

 

I lower my hands and walk away from the mirror and back down the hallway, this time going all the way to the other end past the door I had originally came out of. 

 

Instead of more doors, I see a more open area with a staircase, aaand another plant of course. 

 

I look straight ahead and see an opening into another room. I walk closer to the opening and look inside. 

 

It looks like a dining room, but also a sitting room because, not only is there a dining table, there is a very comfy looking chair in front of a lit fireplace. 

 

I can hear the calming sound of the fire crackling and I have never in my life been so relieved to hear a single sound; I almost cried. 

 

All of the time I have been here has been complete silence, I’ve hated it so so much. 

 

I lean up against the wall next to the opening and relish the sweet, sweet sound of… well, sound. 

 

As I am leaning against the wall, I hear footsteps within the room and freeze 

 

I slowly peak into the room again and see a goat person walking over to the chair. 

 

Wait, I remember her, she helped me earlier. Did she bring me here? She must have, who else could’ve. 

 

I hesitantly walk into the room a little and look inside more. 

 

The goat woman, what was her name again? Toriel? Yeah, I think that was it. Toriel grabs a book from a bookshelf and gently sits down into the chair, looking over in my direction. 

 

She smiles softly at me.

 

“Oh! I see that you’re awake, how are you, my child?” she talks in a soft, gentle tone which immediately relaxes me, more than the crackle of the fire even. 

 

I stare at her, shocked and look down at my hands, “Um, fine I guess… better?” I fidget with my hands and looks up at her again. 

 

“Ah, well that’s good. And you’re up just in time! I was just about to read one of my books, “72 Uses for Snails”. Would you like to read it with me?” She holds up the book in her hands so that I can see it. 

 

“... Snails..?” I look confused, is there really taht many uses for snails?? 

 

She nods, “Why yes! There’s actually a lot of things you can do with them, it’s quite interesting.” she giggles softly with her eyes closed. 

 

“Ah.. well, I guess I can read it with you” I am hesitant but she seems so nice so I go along with it. 

 

I get on my knees next to her chair and cross my arms on the armrest and rest my head on them, looking at the book with her. 

 

She starts to read, picking certain facts she finds particularly interesting. 

 

With her gentle voice and the fire crackling in the background, my eyes start to droop, getting harder and harder to keep them open.

 

Eventually, I end up falling asleep kneeling on the wood floors with the warmth of the fire keeping me comfortable. 

 

The last thing I remember before I fall asleep is Toriel gently petting my head as my consciousness slowly fades away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after months and months of putting it off.... here's finally another chapter 
> 
> this hasn't gotten anywhere yet and i started this in 2016 lol, we haven't even SEEN papyrus yet 
> 
> i guess i've learned that i procratinate a whole lot when it comes to things like this where i have no deadline lol 
> 
> anyways, i hope you liked this chapter
> 
> i started it months ago but i finally finished it today 
> 
> sooo yeah, i hope you guys have a nice day!!

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh ok there's the first chapter! Now to post the other two lol. Fun fact! The name of the reader's best friend is actually the name of my best friend in real life! (because i'm too lazy to think of another name..) Aaaanyways, I hope you liked it!!
> 
> (p.s. sorry it's short, i'm afraid the first few might be this length but please bare with me! i promise there will be longer chapters in the future!)


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